In which I have achieve a milestone...at Kohl's

I went shopping for new clothes last night as I'm going out with my best friends tonight and I wanted to look less schlubby than my norm.

And I desperately needed some new clothes, most importantly, clothes that fit.

I walked into Kohl's and automatically headed for the euphamistically-titled Women's section, which is a nice way to say "Fat."

Then, I realized: Wait. I may not need to shop in this section. Ever. Again.

I wandered over to the heretofore-uncharted territory of Misses, code for "Normal"-sized women. I found some size 16 pants, some XL tops and headed to the dressing room.

I tried on a few pair of the 16s. They fit. I tried on some shirts. And they fit.

You know, all of a sudden, I like clothes shopping.

Before Friday, for pretty much my whole life (except for brief, shining moments) I was relegated to the Women's section. And the Women's section is full of the ugliest clothes on God's green Earth.

I don't know what blind man designs them - and I know it's a man because no women would ever commit such felony-level couture crimes against her own gender.

With plus-size clothes, most designers have you trussed up like either:

A Mardis Gras float.

Funky '70s wallpaper.

Nana heading to the casino.

When you're overweight all you want from clothes is one thing: camouflage. You just want to disappear and blend in. You're not pleased with the way you look, therefore you don't want to call attention to yourself with unflattering cuts, designs, you name it. Yet, that's most of what is offered.

OK, rant over.

Anyway, I wish you could have been in the dressing room with me. Wait, not literally, mind you, but you know what I mean.

Full of confidence (and clothed), I triumphantly sauntered backed to my new favorite place on Earth and scouted out workout clothes. Brought some XLs back to try only to find them too big. Seriously, I checked the tags three times to ensure I wasn't seeing things.

This is when I thought, I need to stop and play the lottery on the way home.

Fitting in "normal"-size clothes is a huge, huge milestone. Size 16 is not my final destination, but I'm happy to have at least landed in the area where I will shop from now on.

Oh, and don't GIS "Kohl's dressing room." I was looking for some art to go with this post, and, um, just don't. Yikes.