In which my back - and butt - are back

I've always enjoyed the remake of Oceans Eleven, and my favorite quote is a total throwaway line.

During the last act, one of the thieves is a Chinese acrobat who's folded himself into a cart in order to break into the casino vault. He has had no lines the entire movie.

The rest of the gang is late getting him out of the oxygen-less cart, and when he extricates himself and catches his breath he yells:

"WHERE FUCK YOU BEEN?"

Cracks me up every time.

Anyway, if you visit here regularly, you may be wondering the same thing.

When a weight loss blogger who normally posts frequently doesn't post for a while, it's rarely good news. Usually the person is off the grid, off the reservation, off plan. Something is wrong.

And that's what happened to me in December.

Everything is cool now but, hoo boy, December was rough, the worst month I have had since starting Weight Watchers in September 2010.

I posted earlier about tweaking my back, which lead to a gluteus medius strain and I spent pretty much the entire month in a pattern of resting it and then accidentally reinjuring it. I had to take two entire weeks off from working out and I'm still unable to run - now 2 months later.

I went from a person for whom "sedentary" was a generous description to one who loved to get up first thing in the morning to work out. Believe me, I was as surprised as anyone. And then, for that ability to be taken away - even temporarily - was devastating. Add to that loss the overall pressure of December and, man, I was so down, physically and emotionally in pain.

Few people in my life seemed to understand how personally difficult this was for me, which lead to real feelings of isolation. "Oh, you hurt your back? That sucks. It will get better. But you get a week off from exercise!"

Well, I don't want a week off. A couple days a week, yes. Two weeks? Hell, no. I need it for my physical health, for my mental health, for my overall well-being - it's like oxygen to me now.

And, then, my inability to stop reinjuring my glute and back when all I was trying to do was ease back in and, wow, so unhappy.

It made eating right hard, and for a week I just said, "Screw it" and ate whatever I wanted.

It was horrifying how quickly all my bad habits rushed back. It had been 15 months of clean living, muscle building. sound eating. And, then, whoosh, back to whatever I wanted, which was baked goods, carbs and sitting on the couch.

A few pounds piled on, and one of my main tools for combatting weight gain - exercise - was unavailable. It was like trying to do Weight Watchers with one hand tied behind your back and, let's face it, living that life is difficult with both hands fully functional.

More sad feelings. More eating. More wearing of pants with elastic waists that were getting tighter. More low self-esteem. All bad. Just bad, bad, bad.

Then I ended the pity party after Christmas. I was able to go back to bootcamp and the elliptical (still no running) and start getting back to being 100%. I gradually felt better and better and, finally, just a week or so ago I finally felt strong and fit, 100%.

I still haven't run - yet - more on that in a future post.

So, anyway, that's where I was. December: Crawling into a hole. January: Crawling out. I didn't especially feel like writing with either endeavor. Should I have? Yes. But, frankly, I just didn't want to.

However, we're behind that now and, wow, do I have a shit-ton to share. At least I have a lot to write about.

In which I get a cookie from Santa

Last night we took the kids to ride the very-excellent Polar Express in nearby Rhode Island.

While on the train, an equally-awesome Santa (seriously, the best I've ever seen) came around and gave each child a jingle bell from his sleigh and a cookie.

Santa gave me a cookie, too. Well, I have been a very good girl this year.

Normally, I don't eat cookies. I could, sure, but my Points are usually better spent on more substantial, healthy filling foods to keep me satisfied. And baked goods are traditionally a trigger food for me.

However, one does not receive a cookie from Santa every day. And I love cookies. So I ate it.

That's kinda the rule of thumb I use these days when it comes to a treat: Is this a special occasion? Could I have this at any other time?

We took this trip last year, too, and I remember I did not eat the cookie Santa gave me. I was about 14 weeks into WW and I was adamant that I didn't not want to screw it up by having a cookie. One cookie. Ay yi yi.

I still struggle with my Type-A perfectionism/all-or-nothing-ness when it comes to healthy eating. Years of failed "dieting" left me with the feeling of being "on" or "off" a diet. The thought: If you're trying to be healthy, you can't have a cookie.

When, in actuality, you can have a cookie. Just don't have a dozen or add in a whole pizza and a weekend of poor eating, which is what I tended to do.

But here's where I love Weight Watchers. It is so ridiculously flexible. Since I still had plenty of extra Weekly Points available, I certainly had enough for one - one - cookie.

So I relaxed, took a deep breath and really enjoyed the cookie. It can be that simple if I just let it.

Problem is, I have decades of bad mental conditioning behind me, but slowly I am working it out. I won't be able to shed it as efficiently as I have the extra weight, but I will overcome it. It will just take a while.

I don't want to live a life in which I cannot enjoy one cookie from Santa.

Digging through iPhoto, I found our pictures from our Polar Express trip last year and one of me and my son this year.

December 2010

December 2011

November '11: Home Weigh-In 3

Man, was I heavily sweating this weigh-in.

I had a plan: In addition to everything I was already doing, eat more, especially an extra carb on workout days, preferably before. So that's what I did.

I stepped on the scale this morning and, thankfully, saw 159.2. Amen, brother. -3.6, phew.

I was terribly concerned it would not work. If eating less and exercising didn't work, and eating more and exercising also didn't work, where would I turn?

But it looks like this worked fine, so I'll follow what I did this past week again and see what happens. I have 2 weeks until my official December WW weigh-in and I would love to be closer to 155 than 160.

In Weight Watchers-ese, here's what I did, if you're curious.

In addition to following the plan to a T, I ate all my Activity Points on the day I earned them. On bootcamp days, I wore my heart-rate monitor, which divides the time spent exercising into three HR zones: low, medium and high.

I took the time spent in each and calculated how many APs I earned. For example, bootcamp is usually 5 APs. Before bootcamp I ate a mini-bagel (3 P+) and a serving of WW cream cheese (2 P+). Voila, there's your 5 APs eaten.

When I ran I didn't need the HRM, I just knew the entire run was spent in the high intensity zone, so I took my total run time and calculated the APs. I ate a bagel and cream cheese before my runs, and if I had leftover APs from the run (anywhere from 2-5), I'd toss them into the day's Point total and eat them as well.

Along the way, I also ate 9 of my weeklies, not exactly sure when, but I did. Previously I would eat about half my APs and usually 0 weeklies, so the adjustment in this area seems to have been the trick.

In which I eat a bagel

After bootcamp Wednesday morning, my trainer turned to me and said, "Let's figure this out."

We walked over to desk, sat down and tried to determine why I keep gaining weight when I'm trying to lose, despite heavy exercise and good eating.

His theory, as I suspected: I'm not eating enough, specifically carbs.

Since switching over to Points Plus, just about a year ago now, I've reduced my carb intake significantly (although not altogether) because carbs take up more Points than whole foods, protein, veg, etc. If you eat fewer carbs, you get to eat more. And I like to eat more.

However, my trainer said because of my high activity level, fewer carbs means my body has less fuel to burn, so I'm accidentally putting my body into starvation mode. He suggested I add a small carb twice a week, preferably before I work out or, say, the night before a run.

It's funny, last week someone mentioned having a great bagel and I thought, Wow, I could go for a bagel.

I seriously have not eaten a bagel in over a year. A regular, large NY-style bagel would take up about one-third of my daily Points - and that's with nothing on it. I told you those damn carbs were expensive, WW-wise.

Anyway, I grabbed a bag of mini Thomas' Pretza-Bagels: half-pretzel, half-bagel, all-delicious (3 Points+). I got some Weight Watchers cream cheese and for 5 Points+, voila, pretzel and bagel.

I've been enjoying one before my workouts and they are a treat.

If I get to eat a little more and actually lose like I want, that's the best of both worlds. It's worth a shot.

In which I beat back the chocolate urge

Earlier this week I wrote about having rather, ah, intense feelings about certain snacks as of late.

Again, I find it somewhat odd that I could handle these foods on a daily basis with no problem for months. But, as of the past couple of weeks I found them calling me more and more. I didn't give in, but I knew I had to get out of Dodge if I wanted to be able to continue to state that.

So when I ran out of them, I didn't restock. And, voila, having them out of the house has made all the difference.

It sounds stupidly simple, but it works: If they are not in the house, I cannot eat them to excess.

No temptations in the cabinet, no urges, no bad decisions. I'm liking this.

I still have chocolate, for breakfast (LOL), and that's been fine. No untoward urges around my lovely LUNA bars, thank goodness.

So far, so good. My tracker looks a lot less chocolately, I'm feeling a healthy distance and I'm eating a better variety of food (mostly fruit for snacks). Good stuff.

In which I put myself in time-out

Dear Fiber One Chocolate Peanut Butter Brownies,

It's not you, it's me.

Seriously, you're too delicious and too low-Point, which make me want to break my self-imposed rule in which I will not have more than one serving of something (except for fruit & veg) in a day. If I have you in the morning (ahem), I can't have you again for the rest of the day. But I find myself wanting you more than once a day.

OK, I'm abandoning this fake-letter bit as it's getting too porn-y and weird.

Here's my problem, those brownies are too good. I've been having one a day for months, but lately I find myself wanting them more.

I've been able to control the temptation so far, but I know if I keep them in the house, I will give in eventually. It's like gambling at a casino, gamble long enough and the house always wins.

Curiously, I'm having the same issue with the equally-delicious Weight Watchers Whitman's candies. Again, been enjoying them daily for months, but lately they're too tempting to stop at one - or two. They are small.

I think the problem is that they're both low Point (the brownies are 2, candies 1), so it's easier to justify having more than one a day. If they were higher-Point, I doubt I would have the same problem.

Yesterday I ran out of both and did not restock. And I will not. I need a break from these foods and I'm happy I'm strong enough to recognize a potential problem and correct it before it becomes a big one.

In which the party's over

Yesterday was my much-ballyhooded (by me) birthday, during which I ate whatever I wanted all day long.

I hatched this plan, literally, months ago and I was looking forward to it way too much. All the forbidden fruits, all for me, all day long.

Some friends wisely wondered if it was a good idea. And then there's my wonderful friend Kerry, who counseled two words:

"Pace yourself."

Love that woman.

I'm not going to get into specifics on what I ate and how much (a lot and a lot) because I don't want to put any naughty thoughts in your head. Suffice it to say, it was great...and fun.

But, surprisingly, it wasn't as great or as fun as I had expected.

Maybe it was because I built this freedom up into some mythical level in my head to which it could never live up.

Maybe I'm making some progress on my food issues and the thought of all-you-can-eat isn't the fantasy it used to be.

Now that I'm close to goal (and hopefully will be there by Thanksgiving), it will be easier for me to work much-loved treats into my eating plan on a more-regular (but not too-regular) basis rather than a once-a-year-bacchanal.

With the stress of official weekly WW weigh-ins removed, I should be able to enjoy more special foods in very cautious moderation.

Perhaps that will take some away the "forbidden" or "bad" tint to some high-Point items. And that would be a good thing.

Well, what do you know: 41 for only a day and I'm already a bit wiser.

In which you can lose weight quickly after 40

When I rejoined Weight Watchers last fall, I had one big concern:

Will I be able to lose weight as quickly as I had before?

From April 2002 to September 2003, I lost 124 lbs on Weight Watchers. I started at age 31.5 and reached Lifetime on my 33rd birthday. I was married and had a full-time job, no children yet, aka, I had money and time. And I was 100% focused on following the program and exercise.

If it took me 1.5 years eight years ago, how long would it take me now, at age 40?

After having 3 children in 4.5 years, would my body even remember how to lose weight?

Could I jump start my metabolism?

Is it going to take forever?

And these questions were all outside of all the kid-, time-, energy-related concerns.

My friend Becca, a fellow Lifetimer returning to Goal weight, posted her progress vs. her progress of several years ago. It got me thinking of doing the same thing, especially since I had all my old weigh-in booklets and info.

I finally got around to it and the results are very interesting.

I'm losing weight faster at 40 than I did at 31/32.

See for yourself, the blue line is my 2002-2003 losses (the chart says 2004, but that is a typo), the red is my current progress (2010-today), both through 44 weeks.



So, what's different now?

1. Points Plus. If you notice, the two lines really start to widen around Week 10. The Points+ program rolled out on Week 13 and I switched over after Week 15. Up until then I was eating very carb-heavy. I just wanted to stay within my Points, I didn't care about the mix of carb vs. protein, etc. When I felt comfortable with the idea of moving to Points+ three weeks later, it got me to eat more protein, fruits and veg as snacks and fewer carbs in general.

I know 2002-2003 I ate a very carb-heavy diet, at least moreso than now. So I believe the lean protein/F&V focus on Points+ really has made my metabolism more efficient and promotes more fat burning and muscle building through better-balanced eating.

2. Bootcamp. In 2002-2003 I did little strength training. I hated traditional free-weight workouts (still do) and could not motivate myself to get it done (still can't). So from April 2002 on my main exercises were walking, running (starting February 2003) and water aerobics (spring 2003). All great workouts, but all cardio - not big muscle-builders like interval training at bootcamp.

Because bootcamp is different every class, my body doesn't fall into that rut of doing the same-old, same-old. Just like eating the same things over and over (easy for me to do), I think the same exercise over and over is a case of diminishing returns. You have to shake it up. I'm shaking it up with bootcamp (I started in April) and it's paying off.

Other interesting observations:

My losing pattern is still the same. My small-loss, small-loss, big-loss pattern is very similar to that of 2002-2003. Once a month I would drop 3 or 4 lbs in one week, still do that today.

I had a long plateau in the 180s. Funny, I don't remember this at all. But according to the stats, I was stuck in the 180s for 13(!) weeks. I didn't have any major fall-off-the-wagon phases in 2002-2003, so I can't remember why the hell that was such a torturous period.

And here I was recently griping about spending 1 month in the 180s. Yikes.

You always hear that it's harder to lose weight the older you get. But this goes to show you with consistent dedication, balanced eating and exercise you can do it at any age!

In which I reveal my weight-loss 'secrets'

That headline is misleading as I don't have any secrets, I'm happy to share what works for me.

But the title, "In which I reveal my weight-loss rules of thumb" is boring.

Many people who haven't seen me in a while ask, "What are you doing?" When I reply "Weight Watchers" they almost always follow up with, "But what are you doing?" As in How are you doing it?

Over time I've developed many Dos and Don'ts that help me. I've divided them up into categories below to make them easier to digest.

I know the minute I hit "Publish Post" I will think of 14 more, so I will update this post as my early-onset Alzheimer's allows and make a note up here so you don't have to reread everything to find the new additions.

Now, my most important piece of advice:

You can do it.

No excuse will hold you back if you want this bad enough. It doesn't matter if you work, don't work, have kids, don't have kids, are married, single, busy, bored, tired, whatever.

We all have commitments, roadblocks, challenges and other problems that can get in our way if we let them.

But, in the end, nothing can stop you, but you.

I don't have any secret formulas, iron-clad willpower or a magic metabolism. If I had the latter two, I would never have been in this situation in the first place, I assure you.

I am nothing special, just a person who is very committed to this goal - safely and healthily doing what it takes to see it through. Some days are easy and some are hard, but I keep pushing through.

If you have any questions, just leave a comment and I'm happy to answer.

Weight Watchers

I follow the Weight Watchers Points+ Plan. Coming from old Points plans, Points+ did take a little getting used to, but I'm convinced its fruits/veg/protein focus is helping me lose weight faster.

I track everything I eat in a Three-Month Tracker. I save my trackers so I can reference them going ahead if need be.

I eat my Daily Points Allowance every day.

I rarely use my extra 49 Weekly Points (maybe once every 4-6 weeks). But if I want to go out to eat, I make sure it's early in my WW week - Tues (my weigh-in day), Wed or Thu, so I have time to work them off. If I have an event on the weekend, I try to make the best choices and keep the sodium low.

On workout days I eat some of my Activity Points. On heavy intensity days, I eat 3-4 APs. Moderate I eat an extra 1-2 APs. Depends on how hungry I am.

I drink between 96 and 128 oz of water a day. I drink it with every meal and ensure I get at least 96 oz in a day (3 refills of my 32-oz water bottle).

I love Diet Coke. It's my only vice left and I drink 2-3 a day. I don't drink coffee, never liked it.

I eat at least 5 servings of fruits and vegetables each day, usually more.

I try to cut down on carbs, and if I want a snack, I try to make it a protein. However, I do eat carbs every day.

I stay for the WW meeting every week.

Weigh-In Day

I wear the same lightweight workout clothes every week to WI: wicking T-shirt, yoga/gym pants (full in winter, capris spring-summer-fall). When they get too big, I buy a smaller size; no need to weigh extra fabric.

My weigh-in is 10 am. I don't eat or drink anything before. You can find me in the meeting room devouring a Luna Protein bar and a Diet Coke just after weigh-in.

Exercise

I eat a Luna Protein bar before a workout (5 Points+). When I get home after, I eat the rest of my breakfast. I need something on my stomach, I can't workout without any fuel.

I work out four times a week (Mon, Wed, Fri, Sun).

I believe in rest days and keep them. I have two back-to-back workouts on Sun/Mon, but my weigh-in is Tuesday, so I consider Monday my "last chance" workout, but it's less intense than M-W-F.

Currently my workouts are Monday (45 mins elliptical); Wednesday & Friday (45 mins bootcamp class); Sunday (45-minute run).

My workouts are early morning, 6 am. It's the only time I can ensure I can get it in with my full focus and without family obligations.

When I started exercising, I did Leslie Sansone DVDs four days a week. They're fantastic for all fitness levels, especially if you're starting out. I still find them challenging if another workout falls through.

Misc.

I never weigh myself at home. I've tried this in the past and I am almost always disappointed, either immediately or on the WW scale on official WI day. My weight fluctuates too much day to day for a home weigh-in to indicate how my week is going.

Also, I worry I would get too caught up in the numbers and throw myself off track. Who knows how much weight I gain or lose day to day? I don't want to know. I stress enough over one official weigh-in, I have no desire to add spot checks.

I won't do anything to lose weight that I wouldn't do to maintain it for the rest of my life.

I won't force myself to eat something I "should" but don't like. For instance, I have never liked bananas. Won't eat them.

I don't eat after 8 pm. Sometimes I don't get dinner until later due to family commitments, so every once in a while I'm eating dinner late, but as a rule of thumb I try to get dinner done before 8 pm.

I try to make Lunch my largest Points meal of the day.

I rarely drink alcohol. I'd rather eat my Points than drink them. This hasn't been too difficult for me as I wasn't a big drinker pre-WW. I swear I have a 12-pack in the basement fridge that's been there for a year. But, if I want a beer, you bet I will drink it and write it down.

I weigh/and or measure all my food on a digital food scale.

I shop a lot at Trader Joe's. They have an amazing selection of Points-friendly food.

Saturday, Sunday and Monday are my three days closest to WI. I am extremely conscious of what I eat and especially on Monday I try to cut down on sodium or anything that would cause me to retain water. You'll never find me eating sushi Sat-Sun-Mon, but it's the first thing I grab after WI Tuesday.

I read many weight-loss blogs. They're wonderful inspiration and offer a lot of great advice, food finds, recipes, etc. Some of my favorites are listed in the right column.

Any area I missed? Specific question? Ask away.

In which I build a massive salad

I grilled a bunch of chicken yesterday. In gonna-snow-soon 38-degree weather, no less.

That (the chicken, not the weather) had me angling for a big 'ol salad today. While at the grocery store, I got a bag of Classic Romaine and found this deliciousness in the Produce aisle.

1 Points+ for 2T (7g). 7g isn't a ton, but for 1 Point it adds a great hint of spicy and tangy.

I love Wasabi and I love Ranch. I've never seen them blended before. Good, crunchy flavorful stuff if you've got 1 Point to spare.

Anyway, put together a monster salad that was quite delicious:

5 oz grilled chicken (5 Points+)
1/4C feta cheese (2 Points+)
3 slices Oscar Meyer Thick Cut Ready Cook Bacon (2 Points+)
7g Wasabi Ranch Wonton Strips (1 Points+)
1T balsamic vinegar (0 Points+)
Romaine lettuce (0 Points+)

For 10 Points it was a lot of good food.

In which I finally try a green smoothie

I tried a Green Smoothie tonight for the first time...and I liked it.

What makes it green? Spinach. What makes it delicious? Grapes, pineapple, 1 banana, 1 apple, 1 orange (I was also supposed to add a carrot, which I thought I had but didn't).

Since I bought my Vitamix, I always had green smoothies in the back of my head, but I never had the guts to try one because it's, you know, green. And drinking spinach? Blech.

But the nutrients are off the charts, and proponents say the sugar in the fruits neutralizes the bitterness of the spinach (or any other leafy greens you substitute - you can check out demo videos here and here).

I finally gathered up the courage (and all the ingredients), flipped the switch, poured a glass and really liked it. It's the first smoothie I've ever made that was sweet enough on its own - no need to add sugar or a substitute. It was super sweet, the orange and banana really came through - no trace of spinach. The consistency was creamy and it was ice cold thanks to all the ice cubes I tossed in before blending.

I can definitely see drinking several of these a week - and I'll have no trouble getting my 5 A Day.



And in workout news, no childcare = no gym = no run. Boo. But, I did get in a 3-miler with Leslie, which was its usual good, sweaty time.

In which I enjoy a 'normal' dinner

One of the many things I love about Weight Watchers is you can live the program and not feel like you're on a "diet."

It's said over and over again, and it's true: It's a lifestyle, not a diet.

Last night I went out to dinner with friends at a Japanese teppanyaki restaurant.I love teppanyaki and I hadn't had it forever. It was great to go out and enjoy the whole meal without guilt, knowing I had 49 Weekly Extra Points in my back pocket for that very reason. I had filet mignon and shrimp teppanyaki, with white rice and a salad.

No idea how to count it, other than I need to stay within my Daily Point Range for the rest of the week (and drink lots of water).

In which I survive a Bucket of Danger

My Dad, God love him, visited us recently and brought the kids a "Candy Cookie Bucket."

He's always bringing the kids junk, but that's what Grandpas do and I'm fine with that. Usually it's candy or individual cookies, but a bucket?

Good Lord, that's akin to bringing your junkie daughter a bucket of crack and a dirty needle.

Seriously, Dad. A bucket? Stick with the individual cookies.

Of course, I had to check the NI on the bucket. 4 Points per cookie. Decided it wasn't worth it.

Out to dinner, in control

I've been resisting going out to dinner. I initially wanted to write "scared," but that sounded a little dramatic.

Regardless, I like the comfort of my home, knowing I have controlled things to the point I am unlikely to go off-plan.

But Saturday night the family was celebrating and the kids chose Friendly's, a not-so-Friendly place for someone on controlled eating. I decided in the beginning that I will not let me weight loss issues hijack my family. My issues need to adapt to the family, not vice versa.

So, off we went. I was starving as we had been out for a few hours and although that's the worst feeling to have going out to eat (if you can't eat everything you want), it is what it is. Or was.

Anyway, I held it together pretty well. I had about a half-day's worth of Points to use, so I got a gigantic salad with breaded chicken tenders (maybe 1-2 oz of chicken). Gave the boiled egg and tortilla chips to my youngest and I was OK.

Did I want a huge sundae for dessert? Yes. Did I want to feelings I would experience afterward: regret, anger, disappointment? No.

In which I inadvertently become a vegetarian

I was checking my food journal tonight and discovered I have become a vegetarian without realizing it.

I haven't eaten meat in a week - no time to cook! However, my newfound obsession with Roasted Red Pepper hummus and Kashi's Mediterranean Brushcetta crackers are keeping me happy.