In which I've maintained my loss for a year

Last Nov. 1 I stepped on the scale at my regular Weight Watchers meeting and realized I made my personal goal weight.

A year later, I'm still there.

I just want to let that sink in for a bit. Historically, I've been excellent at losing weight, but terrible at keeping it off.

This is such a big deal, and to me, it's more impressive than losing 125 lbs in the first place.

All my life, I would strive, strive, strive for the "finish line" and once there (or when I got sick of striving) return to my same-old, same-old eating habits and behaviors.

I'm not sure why that was, other than maybe mentally I still had not gotten my head around the fact there is no "finish." Ever.

I don't like to bring that up to people who are in the losing process as it sounds depressing, dire and unattainable. But, you know, it's the truth.

So what was the difference this time around? How am I maintaining successfully?

A few thoughts:

I accepted that there is no finish line. There is no "on" or "off" program, you are on all the time, forever, end of story. Yes, there are lax - or outright bad - days, for sure, but I get right back on the horse, tracker in hand. I can't do what I did in the past and expect to hold on to what I have.

I embraced the PointsPlus program. Given its flexibility, PointsPlus is a program I can work for the rest of my life without too much mental stress or any depravation. When I gain weight, I can lose it. When I lose it, I can maintain it. It's so doable and realistic, I can live my life and enjoy food within reason.

I set goals away from the scale. Registering for races has keep me running and running has kept me motivated and moving. Training plans for big challenges such as half-marathons have given me a series of incremental goals spread over a period of time, goals that I achieve and of which I can feel very proud. These longer-term challenges and training plans have me constantly looking ahead while simultaneously working on them today - a potent combo.

I want to make it clear, however. You do not have to run if you don't want to. So many of us weight-loss bloggers run and love writing about it, I worry that people think they have to become runners to become healthy, fit, happy, people.

There are plenty of other activities that are challenging and amenable to goal-setting. The key is to find one you enjoy.

I found activities I enjoy. In addition to running, I love going to bootcamp twice a week. If you asked me on that first day, "Will you still be here in 18 months?" I'm not sure what I would have said. Probably, " *#&$, no!" But I'm so glad I have.

I accept I am a work in progress. I have decades of bad decisions, behaviors, habits and emotions surrounding food. I understand that it will likely take decades to unravel those knots and replace them better ones. No more expectations of perfection, no all-or-nothing.

I am kind to myself. I refuse to beat myself up. I still have bad days, but I restart as soon as I can. I also try to pull something positive out of it. If a decision went wrong - why? What caused it? What could I do better next time?

I work for Weight Watchers. Those of you who don't know me in real life are thinking, "Wait, what?!?" I haven't blogged about that very big part of my life because it's not smart to blog about your job unless you're paid to do so or own the company. I have neither, so I haven't.

I've been working for WW since last November, first as a receptionist and now as a leader. The job has challenged me and given me more than I ever expected. And one unexpected benefit has been that everyone on staff is a Lifetime member maintaining their weight. So if I'm having a problem, I can ask questions, commiserate, whine or beg for help when I need it. Maintenance is an art and you need other Lifetime members who get it because no one else truly does. Working several times a week with other Lifetimers has provided me with a built-in support system for which I are so grateful.

I am not perfect, nor do I have it all figured out. I am a work in progress. And if you're a work in progress, there's only one thing you have to do:

Keep working.

In which I like going to the doctor

When you're overweight (OK, obese), one normally doesn't like to go to the doctor. Any doctor. At all. Ever.

In fact, most people - including yours truly - avoided any medical professional for years so as to dodge the inevitable Come To Jesus moment in which the physician correctly says (in varying degrees of empathy and/or kindness): "You've got to lose weight."

Before I joined Weight Watchers in September 2010, I was in a very bad way physically. I weighed 280+ lbs. I had high blood pressure, my BMI was 44. Forty-friggin-four, people. For perspective's sake, 25 is considered "Normal." Tweny-six to 30 is overweight. Over 30, you're skipping doctor's appointments forever. Regardless of how you feel about BMI, that is dangerous.

Aside from OB appointments due to my pregnancies, I avoided my primary care physician because I didn't want to hear the truth. I also didn't want confirmed what I also knew was true: I had sleep apnea. Many times I would wake up overnight gasping for breath - and that's when my husband wasn't waking me up because I was snoring so insanely loud.

And, most likely, I was pre-diabetic, if not outright diabetic. I also knew I had high blood pressure, Lord knows what I was doing to my poor heart.

Weighing what I weighed and fighting the symptoms I had, it was amazing I dodged the medical bullets I did. But I knew I couldn't forever, and if I didn't change my ways I seriously would end up what I call: "scooter fat." So heavy, you need a scooter to get around. I was slowly, painfully walking the way to scooter fat and I wanted off, so I literally shaped up.

Cut to now, almost 18 months later and I am a healthy weight and a very healthy person. A runner. A bootcamper. A vegetarian! I mean, Wow.

Last year, I was a little over halfway to my weight-loss goal and I was excited to go to the GYN. I vividly remember telling his nurse, whom I love: "Next year when I see you I will be a Size 10 and weigh 160 lbs."

So I was a little pumped to strut my Size 10, 160-lb self into the office today for my annual howdy-do.

Inside, I was a freaking brass band. Ta-da! Here I am! Follow me, to the scale!

Funny, actually the nurse said: "I don't need to weigh you, you know what you weigh." Oh, yes, I do.

My GYN was very complimentary, saying all sorts of wonderful, encouraging things: "We're so proud of you."

It's amazing to go to a doctor's appointment confident instead of embarrassed, just a world of difference.

Now, my goal for next year: Strut through the door once again, Size 10, 160 lbs.

In which my daughter makes a list

My Kindergartener came home from school yesterday, determined:

"I need to make a checklist of things I need to do every morning!"

I wasn't sure what prompted this fit of organization at nearly 6 years old, but I could not wait to read it. When she draws something, it's usually pretty funny.

She marched off to the dining room table, paper and marker in hand and soon returned with the above, which I will translate:

Exercise.

Brush teeth.

Eat.

Clothes.

Catch the bus.

Exercise? That surprised me.

"Why exercise?" I asked.

"Because that's what you do in the morning."

I almost teared up.

"What are you going to do for exercise?"

She demonstrated jumping jacks and those old-timey, arms out, bend at the waist, touch-the-opposite-toe thingies.

"That's a good plan, Marley. Good for you."

"I know."

Nothing if not modest, my girl.

One of the major reasons I wanted to get in shape was because I wanted to be around for my family. I wanted to be alive and active for me and, especially, for them. I wanted my children, especially my two girls, to grow up with a healthy relationship with their bodies, exercise and food.

Both of my girls will be petite (my husband's side, not mine, for sure), which means they will have little room for error with extra weight. How could I help them grow up healthy inside and out if I was a 300-lb couch potato?

I don't bang 'em over the head with my eating and exercise, but they are absorbing it by osmosis. They know I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables and they're right there with me, with the fruit-eating, at least. Sure, they eat the typical kid crap, but they're kids - I won't deprive them of that, as long as it's in moderation.

I never predicted how my changes would affect them and their attitudes about eating and exercise. They know I go to Weight Watchers every week for what I call my "healthy meeting." In the summer, they come with. My son calls it, "Boring, boring, boring." Can't argue that when you're a 4-year-old boy.

I'm amazed to see how all of my work is paying off for them in their little brains, percolating under the surface and bubbling up in unexpected ways.

So, I give my eldest all the credit in the world for her list, because if I had one, "eat" is always No. 1.

Photos: Befores, Durings and Afters

Yesterday I posted one of my favorite pictures ever, and it got me thinking about the photos I usually get at each race.

Then I remembered I did get a photo of myself before my first 5K in March. I traditionally use my regular Before photo when comparing Befores and Afters, so I thought, "Let's contrast with a During photo." (Click to enlarge.)



At the time of the March photo I weighed 212 lbs. It was one week before I started my introductory bootcamp classes and 2 weeks before I started going twice a week.

At this point, I had already lost 70 lbs from when I joined Weight Watchers 6 months earlier. The first thing I think when I look at that photo: "Wow, that doesn't look like someone who already lost 70 lbs."

In the current photo I weigh 158 lbs, so in the seven months of running three times a week and bootcamping twice a week (and Weight Watchers-ing) I've lost 54 lbs. It sure seems like a lot more pound-wise than that comparing the two photos.

And that, my friends, is why strength and interval training is very, very good.

I know I could reach my current weight without bootcamp, but I'm convinced it would have taken much longer. And when I got to this weight, my body would not look like it does now. Running would have taken care of my legs, but that's moot because I doubt I would have been able to continue running: My core and legs were not strong enough to sustain it without pain.

In that first 5K I wrote about suffering from what I thought was major hip pain when running outside, but I think it was more of a glute thing. Bottom line: My core and legs were not sufficiently strong enough to allow me to run pain-free.

Gradually, safely, strengthening them through bootcamp allowed me to run faster, further and better - pain-free. I would have been forced to bail on running long before now without bootcamp. It was just too painful to run outside.

Now bootcamp may not be your thing and that's perfectly fine. You may not be interested in running and that's fine, too (and probably very smart when you get down to it). However, there are many other ways to get in your cardio and strength train so you can firm up and build lean muscle that will slim you down in ways you never imagined.

Many of us eschew strength training because it's hard. I always say, "If bootcamp were a DVD, I'd fast-forward through 75% of it." It was true when I started and it's true now.

It's challenging, and I am inherently lazy and I cannot self-motivate to push myself to do what I need to do when it comes to strength training. I can get myself out of bed, in the dark and on the road to run three times a week, no problem. But getting myself - with no one watching - to pick up some free weights or drop a dozen squats? Not me.

That's why I turn to a professional twice a week. Someone who lays out a challenging circuit, ensures I have proper form and keeps me honest, so I don't, say, hook my feet under a spin bike for extra leverage during full sit-ups. Um, theoretically, that is.

Anyway, do something you like and more importantly something that challenges you when it comes to cardio and strength training. Don't forget about strength training, it's hard but it is worth it. Believe me.

And, I didn't live in the gym, either. Bootcamp is 45 minutes tops (including warm-up and cool-down) twice a week. My runs are, depending on distance, 30 minutes to an hour, three times a week. Five hours a week. That's doable.

This is embarrassing to admit, but I held off on strength training for longer than I should have because I was worried that in building muscle, my weight loss would slow. It obviously did not.

And, just for fun, I tossed in my regular Before photo below for the panoramic perspective. If you want a better look, click to enlarge.

Not to belabor the "Oh my God I Love That Photo" theme I've got going on, but one more thought: I think what I love the most is I look strong and fit. Not "skinny" or "thin." I always thought I wanted to be thin and/or skinny. I was wrong. I wanted to look exactly like I do now: healthy.

The Day I Made My Personal Goal

To put it mildly, October sucked.

Sure, there were several wonderful highlights (A, B, C & D).

But for the most part, when it went wrong it went very, very wrong:

I got injured.

Had to drop out of my much-ballyhooed 10K.

Gained 1-lb for consecutive weeks for no discernible reason, which landed me back at the weight I was at the beginning of the month, all while I was trying to shed my last 5 lbs to reach my personal goal.

And then there was last weekend, when my part of Massachusetts was hit by a freak Nor'easter that dumped a foot of snow on us - on Oct. 29.

The storm knocked out our power, stranding me and my son at a friend's house Saturday night.

On Sunday, we still didn't have power at my house, so the whole family decamped to my brother's house an hour away, which caused me to (understandably) miss a scheduled race to which I was looking greatly forward. Here's a hint: If there's some freak storm forecast and I have a race on the same weekend, the storm will happen. Book it.

Power returned Monday morning, so we were able to return, settle in and clean up just in time to bring the kids trick-or-treating.

All of this mishegas meant I lost three days of my week to chaos, which is disconcerting when you're a Weight Watcher. We love routine. However, life is not without chaos, so if you're going to be successful, you need to learn to roll with the punches. Doesn't mean we have to like it, though.

I was able to stay on program while I was staying with various people over the weekend. It was not easy and eating whatever I wanted would definitely have taken the edge off. Yet I knew that we would eventually get our power back, but I would not be able to undo any eating damage that easily, especially just before my official Nov. 1 Weight Watchers weigh-in.

Operation 5.1 was still in effect and even though its success looked remote, I was going to try my best to shed as close to 5.1 as I could.

So I white-knuckled myself through our "homeless" days and knew I did absolutely everything I could given the circumstances. Missing the race Sunday meant I missed a workout, so instead of working out 5 days this week, I got in 4, but that's still great.

Given I don't eat or drink before my official 10 am weigh-in, I slept in as late as possible so I would have as short a period as possible between wake-up and weigh-in. I am a flat-out crank without caffeine or breakfast, so I try to keep that short for my sake and my family's.

I rolled pretty well this morning, got on my weigh-in gear and headed to the basement to get a number, so I would know the differential between my home scale and the official scale at the center.

Let me tell you, my summer weigh-in outfit of capris and a T-shirt was not cutting it this morning. I had planned to buy a pair of light-weight wind pants and a light long-sleeved T over the weekend, but the storm nixed that, so summer outfit it was. So. Cold. But it was for a purpose.

I was extremely nervous, I honestly had no idea what I would see. To hit my personal goal I had to lose 5.1 lbs for the month of October. The gains brought me back to where I was at the last official weigh-in, so in order to make my goal I would have to lose that much in one week. That is a lot to ask - 3% of my body weight in one week.

I was not optimistic.

Took a deep breath, stepped on the scale and saw the 1 then a 5. Whoa. It took my brain a bit to register the whole figure: 158.2. You gotta be kidding me. That's -6.6 lbs. In a week.

I usually pull one big loss a month, but I have never had a loss that big. I knew the Weight Watchers scale would not be off by much, so I knew Operation 5.1 would be a success. That took the edge off my caffeine- and breakfast-less morning. Looks like my tactics last week worked, even with that monkey wrench of a weekend tossed in.

Floated over to the Weight Watchers Center at the appropriate time and got on the scale (which is what you see in the picture at the top). -6.6 lbs, 158.4 - 124 lbs lost total.

Unreal. I have no idea when I last weighed one-fifty-anything, had to be junior high.

I made it. My personal goal, here and now. When I started, all I wanted was to eventually weigh 160 lbs and wear a Size 10 comfortably. And, today, all of that is a reality.

It's surreal, to tell you the truth. I've been working on this for 14 months and even as Goal got closer and closer, it was still "out there." But now it's right here.

I am at a healthy weight. I have a Normal BMI (starting: 44.2; current: 24.8). I don't have to lose weight.

Never as an adult have I been able to state that.

My life has changed in so many ways it's hard to sort it all out, other than to say, "It's all good. Very, very good."

So, what now? A lifetime of maintenance.

That sounds daunting, but hell, what's the alternative? Not awesome, I tell you that.

Flo always says:

"It's HARD to be overweight. It's HARD to lose weight. It's HARD to maintain weight loss. You just have to pick your hard!"

True dat. I am picking the latter. Forever.

Stick around, because this is where the hard work really begins...

In which my daughter doesn't recognize me

My 5-year-old was sitting on the couch next to me when I pulled up this blog post.

Her eyes moved to the screen. Her brow furrowed. She looked confused and I mentally guessed what she was going to say before it was out of her mouth.

"Is that you?"

"Yes."

"That doesn't look like you."

"It's me."

"That's you?" she continued, pointing to the picture, taken 17 months ago. "Next to Jake?"

"Yes, that's me. Remember I started eating healthy and exercising?"

"You were fat," she noted, matter-of-factly.

"Yes."

"But now you're thin."

"You got that right, sister."

In which I wear a dress

I was greatly looking forward to a family wedding this past weekend, but not very excited about dress shopping.

I've never been especially girlie and dresses have never been my scene.

Previously I was concerned that wearing a dress in my size would be a little too Omar The Tent Maker. For special occasions, (like my nephew's First Communion, above) I always went with pants or long skirt (black) and a blazer (black) because I hoped that somehow the combination would make me look like anything other than a 3x.

However, I wanted to look nice for this wedding and I seriously do not own a dress. And if I did, it would be too big.

I had put off dress shopping as long as I could, when I mentioned to my dear, super-fit friend Ali the task at hand.

"You should borrow one from me," she said.

"I wouldn't fit in your clothes," was my automatic response.

"Yes," she replied, "You will."

Which is how I found myself in her bedroom trying on a selection of dresses and found that little number up top. I loved it, it looked great and I could not believe it fit.

Seriously, in all my years I have never been able to borrow clothes from a friend because every single friend I had was smaller than me. Until now.

Amazing.

Fast-forward to the wedding day and I was feeling fabulous, feminine and full of confidence in said dress. I may have to reconsider my opinion on dresses...

In which I finally get you an 'After' picture

May 2010 with my wonderful nephew and today with a wonderful haircut.

OK, so I like to call this more of a "Now" picture than "After" because the latter seems to indicate "done" and I am not.

I like the picture on the right, but I don't love it. I still think I look too wide and that bugs me. Why can't I love it? Why am I so critical? Will I ever be truly happy with a picture?

I'm not fishing for compliments, but it bothers me that when I see a picture of myself all I see is what I conceive of as "wrong" as opposed to what's right.

I'm wearing size 10 jeans and a Women's (!) Medium shirt and I still think I look too thick. Why is my filter so messed up?

In which I get a new license picture

I was very happy that my license expired with my recent birthday because I could finally get a new picture.

Up until this year, the old picture - now 10 years old - was accurate. Now, it's not. I've even had people question whether that was really my license when I needed to produce it. I did like that part.

Anyway, went and got a new pic. Thirty-one-year-old me is on the left and 41-year-old me is on the right.

I think the thing I like the most is I look very tan. Given I'm normally fish-belly-white, I heartily approve of the Registry's new Jersey Shore photo filter.

I've decided 40s are the new 30s. I intend to just get better with age. As well as, you know, more humble.

Maintenance Weigh-In 1

As I've been trumpeting non-stop, today was my one-year anniversary of rejoining Weight Watchers, as well as my first monthly weigh-in since reclaiming my Lifetime status.

As a Lifetime member, I have to weigh-in once a month to ensure I've stayed within 2 lbs of my Goal weight, 175. As long as I didn't weigh more than 177 lbs, I would be able to continue to attend meetings for free.

A quick aside, I've had people ask, "Why do you still go to the meetings every week?" Valid question. For me, it's a case of "Check yourself before you wreck yourself." Get a little success and it's easy to think you've got in all covered: "Eh, I don't need meetings anymore. I know everything!"

Um, no. At least not for me. The key to continued success for me is weekly meeting attendance. If I'm cruising right along, I need to remember how hard it can be by listening to those who are struggling and trying to offer them help. If I'm having a problem, I need help from my leader and fellow members.

Getting to still attend meetings every week - for free - is truly an honor and a privilege, and it keeps my head on straight. When I made Lifetime in 2003, I stopped going to meetings. And we know how that turned out.

Anyway, I got to the meeting early for a multitude of reasons:

I was dying to know what the official WW scale said. This morning my home scale had me at 169.2. I needed to know the Rosetta Stone differential between the two so I would have a good idea of how I am progressing week to week when I do unofficial Tuesday morning WIs at home.

With summer unofficially over, meeting attendance skyrockets, everyone wants to get back on track, which means longer lines at the scale.

It was the first week of the month, so many Lifetimers would be returning to get their monthly WI out of the way.

I was starving. Since I was weighing in, I didn't eat or drink anything all morning, and by 10 am I am fading and cranky bigtime.

Getting to the meetings early is rarely a good idea because it means that much more time my children have to keep it together in the Center. However, I was willing to endure that because, dammit, I needed an official weight, a Luna bar and a Diet Coke, in that order.

When I walked in, only one person was ahead of me. Literally 2 minutes later, 5 people were behind me, and it was 20 minutes before the meeting start.

My Weight Watchers Center was just refurbished this summer, so new scales and pretty much everything else. I like these new scales because I can read the monitor display and get my number without waiting for the receptionist to tell me, and sometimes it takes them a while to share it.

I stepped on and, seriously, I thought my heart would beat out of my chest. I wish I was wearing a heart-rate monitor because it must have gone through the roof. Even after 52 weigh-ins, I still get nervous.

Trying not to move a muscle I craned my eyes toward the display: 168.8.

Excellent! My August weigh-in was 174.6, which means I lost 5.8 lbs over the month and, even better, met my end-of-summer goal by dropping into the 160s. Now I'm just 8.8 lbs away from my personal goal of 160.

Last week I went through my closet, purging any remaining clothes that no longer fit. Way back in the closet I found an old pair of 3x pants I used to wear last summer. I held onto them and thought it would be fun to play Show and Tell at the meeting.

I checked with Jackie, my leader, (above right in the picture, click to biggify) and she was psyched. She called me up and I got to unfurl (and that is the right verb) the giant pants and fit in one pant leg.

That's the weight-loss equivalent of popping a wheelie. And a pretty fun way to celebrate an anniversary, to boot.

Week 47 Weigh-In: The Day I Reached Goal

I reached Goal yesterday, reclaiming my Lifetime No-Pay status with the Watchers of Weight.

And to be truthful, it was a little anti-climactic.

First off, I couldn't stay for the meeting. I had to get my kids to a 10:30 am event, so it was a quick, weigh-and-go. We'll celebrate at the meeting next week.

I knew this week was supposed to be a big weight-loss week, according to the schedule on which my body operates (small loss, small loss, small loss, big loss). After losing just 2 lbs - total - over the past 3 weeks, I was due.

I stepped on the scale and heard the receptionist say, "You continue to rock and roll."

She finally told me a number, -3, which means I just limboed under my Goal weight of 175, coming in at 174.6.

I thanked her and scooted out of the meeting. I saw my leader quickly and didn't even tell her, I didn't have time to really talk, sadly. But, again, I'll make a big deal out of it next week.


So, where to now?

Well, 175 is my goal set by my doctor when I made Lifetime in 2003. According to Weight Watchers, for my height (5'7"), the most I should weigh is 160. They base their goal range on BMI (regardless of whether you agree with the BMI concept), and 160 is the most you can weigh and still have a BMI in the Normal weight range for my height.

However, my doctor argued that for my build, 175 was reasonable. Personally, I think it's high, I could stand to lose more. So for my personal goal I'm going to try and hit 160. I want to see if I can do it and, most importantly, if I can maintain it.

But if I find I can't hit and/or maintain 160, I'm not going to beat myself up about it. I'll just find the lowest healthy weight I can maintain and go for that. But for now I like having another number goal to shoot for.

So it's continued onward and downward, but I want to reflect a bit on this milestone.

I'm pretty surprised I was able to get back to Goal in under a year, which worked out to losing an average of 2.3 lbs a week. But thanks to bootcamp and Points+, I'm losing weight more quickly than I did when I was younger and pre-kids. I'm still astounded by that, I expected the pregnancies and my age to affect my metabolism, but again, what do I know? Apparently little.

In these past 47 weeks I lost a lot of weight and inches, but I greatly gained when it came to self-esteem, self-confidence and pride. I built muscle and good habits.

It's all still a work in progress and for me there truly is no finish line. I have a lifetime of bad habits and bad thoughts to undo and remedy. I don't think they'll ever completely go away, but I will continue to get better at managing them and making good choices.

To be honest, I don't think it's all fully sunk in yet. Driving home, I was mentally planning stuff in my head (unrelated to WW) and suddenly I realized: You don't have a weigh-in next Tuesday.

Sure, I will attend the meeting, but I don't have to weigh in. As a Lifetimer At Goal (I like typing that) I only have to weigh in once a month. With August done, I won't weigh in until September 6.

Sept. 6 is cool for two reasons:

1. It will be my one-year anniversary of the day (Tuesday) I joined (Sept. 7, 2010).

2. I have a 5K on Aug. 28. There's free BBQ after, so I can enjoy in moderation and not worry about sodium bloat and an official WW two days later. Seriously, this is how I think. All the time. Completely mental.

Then that lead me to another train of thought: Weigh-ins. For the past 47 weeks, I've weighed in on Tuesday mornings. I decided I'll continue to do so, once a month for my official WW weigh-in and the other three Tuesdays at home, first thing in the morning, on my scale. That will give me a good indicator of how I'm progressing. I've toyed with the idea of weighing daily, but it still messes with my head too much. I'll continue to report the results every week here, as usual.

So even though I'm a Lifetimer at Goal (woo!) I'm still in the losing mindset to hit my personal goal. So, really, nothing has changed. Except I set a big goal and I made it. And I don't have to pay WW $40 a month anymore.

Next mini-goal: 169. I want to get rid of that 7 middle digit.

Tuesday was a hectic day for a lot of reasons, so I did not get a chance to get a Goal picture. I will remedy that this week and post.

In wrapping up, when people learn of my weight loss, many (strangers and friends) have talked to me about their issues or struggles. Many folks seem overwhelmed by the scale of what they have to do, regardless of how much they have to lose, be it 25 lbs or triple digits.

I agree, it is overwhelming. But the key, for me, was taking it one step at a time. Making one change at a time.

When I started on Sept. 7, 2010 my only goal was to just eat within my Points. That was it. It was all I could handle. Weight Watchers has a host of what they call Good Health Guidelines (eat 5 fruit and veg a day, drink at least 48 oz of water, etc). But I pushed them all aside. I knew that if I wanted to be successful and not burn myself out, I had to go slow.

I just concentrated on eating the number of Points I was supposed to eat. I didn't care if they were all carbs, I didn't care if I ate one vegetable. I just focused on the number and got through as best I could.

About a month in, when I felt that was under control, I focused on adding in exercise a few days a week. After I felt like I could juggle the Points and the exercise, I started to refine my diet to eat more protein and fruits and vegetables and find a better balance. Finally, and this was around December, I felt like I could tackle drinking more water.

Slowly but surely I built up momentum and that is what drives you through. One good decision leads to another good decision and the numbers on the scale continue to drop. One workout leads to another workout and you get lighter, faster and stronger.

It is not easy. If it were, everyone would be fit. But it is doable. You don't have to go on Biggest Loser and spend 6 hours in the gym everyday while a trainer screams in your face. You don't have to eat food you don't like because you "think you should." You can go to a party or a cookout or a restaurant, enjoy and still be in control.

You can change your life with moderation and consistency, one Point, one meal, one day at a time. And pretty soon, you look in the mirror in an Old Navy dressing room and you're wearing loose Size 12s and a Medium shirt (horizontal stripes, no less!) and you realize, "I did it. That's me. It's really me."

That day you waited for, worked for, dreamed about is right here, right now.

If you take anything away from this blog, I hope it is this: You can do it. It is doable and, in the end when you even it all out, it's not really that hard.

Before & Almost After Photos

My brain is still constantly churning over that picture the shirtless stranger took yesterday, so I dug up the only good Before photo I have.

It was taken May 1, 2010 - 4 months before I started Weight Watchers. I can assure you, if anything I only got larger between May 1 and Sept. 7, especially since I knew it was my "last hurrah" and I'd be WWing when the kids went back to school.



Then there's the FBI-like, dark-face but good body shot of yesterday.



I love that there's another guy changing in the background. There was a whole lot of stripping going on in that lot due to the rain. Which is another reason you shouldn't wear the race T in the race: If you get wet, you automatically have a dry shirt on hand.

Race Report: We Will Not Lay Down To Cancer 5K

What a crazy morning.

It had a great ending, but getting there was challenging.

But, let's start at the beginning. We'll get to that awesome picture later.

It's been smoking hot the past 2 days and today was supposed to be not as bad, but still very hot. I had been mentally preparing myself for a warm race, only to wake up at 7 am and see it was cloudy. And, not as hot. Both good.

Ate breakfast (2 Luna bars, lest you thought it was nutritious) and got dressed: running tights, tight white ladies' tank (to keep muffin-top jiggling to a minimum) and new white men's medium wicking shirt from Champion.

The latter was significant because A) Up until now I had only been running races in black (for obvious reasons) and B) The shirt was a medium. But I moved to white because it's summer and running in black is stupid, vanity be damned, and a medium because the large was too big (even though I loved how it covered my butt).

Then I got my gear together. I have a ridiculous amount of junk I wear or bring along when I run. I grabbed my running bag and tossed it in the car. Also plugged in the GPS, since the race was about 30 minutes away and I didn't know how to get there.

Said goodbye to the family, turned on and programmed the GPS, and headed off. Then the skies opened up. Torrential rain and thunder. Then, less than a mile after I pulled out of the driveway, the GPS just shut off, even though it was plugged into the AC adapter in the car. Turned it on again, programmed again. A minute later, shut off. Well, this is annoying.

I pulled over and manually reset it, usually that works on the rare occasions it's being weird. But, again, shut off after less than a minute. Called home and asked my husband for directions.

It stormed nearly all the way to the race, then let up. Yay. Parked, got my bib, came back to the car, geared up (hat, glasses, SPI belt, Garmin, Nano and headphones) then headed to the ladies room. 3 stalls, roughly 1 million women. I waited in line inside the high school and then here comes more rain. Downpour again.

After a loooong wait for the ladies (a race-day staple), I went outside and saw the rain let up. It was cool. Nice!

Soon it was time to line up, and as usual I huddled with the semi-elite elderly runners. Just before the start, torrential rain again, now with thunder. But, interestingly, not one moan of complaint. Except for the kids being pushed in running strollers. They were Not. Happy. Understandably. But everyone else took it in stride, literally, and took off. Guess there was no lighting or else I'm pretty sure they would not have started the race.

I crossed the start line, hit Start on the Garmin and play on the Nike+ app on my Nano. 25 yards later, my Nano is imploding: shuffling, fast-forwarding then shutting off. I'm freaking out, I run with music. It gets me though. How could I run just listening to the sound of my own labored breathing?

For the first three-tenths I'm running and frantically button-mashing the Nano (which has no buttons) trying to get it to work. It was raining so hard, the drops were hitting the screen and the Nano thought I was pushing the touch screen. Downpour, race start, no music. This sucks.

The Nano was wet and I was soaking, and I couldn't get any purchase on the screen to finger-swipe from the Nike+ app to just a straight playlist. Eventually I was able to dry off a finger and the Nano quickly enough (all while continuing to run) to get to a playlist, so I had music. But I had to cup the Nano in my hand for the rest of the race instead of clipping it to my collar like I normally do. By cupping it I could shield it from the rain and hopefully keep it from fracking up again.

The agita over the Nano situation made the first mile go rather quickly. I checked my Garmin and saw I was running at a pace about 2 minutes faster than normal. Too fast, so I tried to slow down and get into a rhythm.

The rain and thunder continued, and it was raining ridiculously hard. It didn't bother me, and it was actually fun. It had cooled significantly and despite being absolutely soaked, it was nice. I'm not a fan of wet socks and shoes, though, but I would still take running in a driving rain every day (and twice on Sunday) over hot and humid conditions.

Pretty soon we were at Mile 2 and a water station, which was kinda amusing given everyone was absolutely soaked to the bone. We looped around and soon were headed back. I looked at the Garmin. I could PR this. I could finish in under 40 minutes, a goal of mine. I finished the last race I ran in 40:14 and I had been hoping to get under 40. I could actually do it this time.

Two significant things happened in Mile 2. Around 2.5, the rain stopped. At 2.85 my Nano shut off and refused to turn on again. Well, I had to run the rest without music, but at least there was not a lot left. Soon up ahead I spotted one of those school zone traffic signs, which meant the finish was coming up. Then I spied the 3-mile mark.

I had been trying to reserve energy so I could sprint the last tenth once I got to 3 miles. Passed the sign and sped up. I turned the corner and there was the chute and the finish line. Looked at my watch, which just passed the 37-minute mark. Yes.

Went over the line at 37.27 according to my Garmin. We weren't chipped for this race, so no idea what the official time was.

I headed straight for the bottled water and sat on a big rock, trying to get my breath back to normal. And then it started to pour again. But I still didn't care. I finished and finished well. I could not get any wetter. Seriously, I have never been this drenched in my entire life because when it rains this hard, I tend to stay inside, not run around outside for 30+ minutes.

After 2 bottles of water I headed back to the car. I needed a picture of my drowned rat status and I needed to find someone to take it. Then I saw the guy parked next to me was changing. Perfect. I went to the car, grabbed the phone I wisely left in the dry car, set up the camera and asked shirtless neighbor to take my picture, striking my best Wonder Woman pose. Thank you shirtless stranger, you took the best picture of me ever.

Seriously, look at the daylight between those thighs. I should wear running tights everyday, everywhere. The lighting is not great, but I assure you, that's me.

Then I realized shirtless stranger was changing out of his wet shirt and into the nice, dry event shirt. Good idea. I did the same, leaving my tank on underneath, thankyouverymuch. And then I found a towel I always leave in my running bag. Yay, my good fortune continues, I could dry off a bit without soaking the car seat.

So, even though my electronics failed me, running in the rain was pretty great. Maybe not in November, but today, it was super.

In which it's 'only a 5K'

I'm running a race tomorrow, my first in about 6 weeks.

I wanted to run another sooner, but there were no area races that fit my ability and schedule until tomorrow.

I've been excited for this race for weeks, but given the recent weather conditions, it's going to be the hottest one I've raced in yet.

But, I'm taking it in stride and positive-talking lest I mentally DQ myself before I even toe the starting line.

Musing about it today, I thought, Hey, it's only a 5K.

I went on to another thought, but then my mind stopped. The sound effect would have been like a needle being pulled across a record (remember that noise, kids?).

It's only a 5K.

Holy crap, when did I evolve into a person who can honestly state that?

This time last year I weighed north of 280 lbs and walking a 5K was out of the question. Hell, walking up my stairs was like walking a 5K.

And now, 10 short months later, I can run a 5K and I'm training for a 10K. Whoa. I've lost 104 lbs and am in the best shape of my life. At nearly 41. And after 3 children. Whoa.

In a life where I live Point to Point, meal to meal and day to day, it's easy to forget the big picture. (And, as an aside, don't think Point to Point, meal to meal and day to day is a bad thing. For me, it's very positive and good.)

So even though no one is closer to my eating and exercise than me, it's very easy for me to lose context. I'm so preoccupied with my new body and fitness I forget that such a short time ago - not even a year - it was a completely, totally different reality.

Ten months is such a short period of time. With consistency and effort, you can do it, too. I know it seems like a long road ahead, but taking it Point to Point, meal to meal and day to day, you can do it. You can do anything.

If 10 months seems intimidating, try 3 months. Where you could be, what could you do in just 12 short weeks?

In which I tell you how I lose weight so quickly

"How do you lose weight so quickly?"

I get asked that a lot. I'm happy to share what I think are important elements of my weight loss, but there is one key ingredient:

Consistency.

I am very consistent. I know what it takes for me to lose weight and I do it every day:

When the alarm goes off a 5 am, I get up.

When I'm scheduled to run, I run.

When I'm scheduled to go to bootcamp, I go to bootcamp.

When I have a day off from working out, I rest.

If I'm only supposed to eat 29 Points a day, I do not eat 30 nor 28, and so on.

I follow all my keys every day, with very few exceptions.

It's a simple concept, but that doesn't mean it's easy - it certainly isn't for me, but it works. There are plenty of days I want to sleep in, not run, skip bootcamp and/or eat whatever the hell I want. But I don't, I know where that goes for me.

But, here's the genius of it all, you can still lose weight and be successful, but at a slower pace. If you don't want to work out as much nor follow your eating plan as strictly, you don't have to. You can lose slower and be just as successful.

Unfortunately that approach doesn't work for me, I'm very much an all-or-nothing person. If I'm on plan, I'm on plan, if I'm off I weigh 280+ lbs. I would be a terrific alcoholic, either blind drunk or stone sober.

When it comes to losing weight you can be a microwave or a crockpot, but the end result is still the same if you stick to it.

Whatever you're doing, if you're happy with it, continue. If you're not, change it up.

The one thing I can't help with is motivation. Everyone's got to grow that themselves. I wish I could help you because if that was the case I would be a billionaire in no time.

For me it was a matter of: I'm getting fatter, weaker and slower, and I'm not happy. It was time to change it all, for good. I felt it deep down in my bones, and as difficult as being on plan can be from time to time I know it's not as difficult as going back to eating whatever I want and wearing Size 26 pants and 3X shirts.

"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." - Robert Collier

That pretty much sums it up.

But remember, however you do it, it can be done. You can do it.

In which I, amazingly, fit into a Medium

"Medium" never had a big place in my vocabulary.

Food-wise I rarely ordered Medium anything and I certainly never wore it.

So it was big news this week when the pea coat I ordered from LL Bean came in.

I love pea coats and since every coat I own is way too big for me now, it's time to get something that fits. Actually, I just realized I donated all the coats I own. So, technically, I don't own anything heavier than a sweatshirt.

Anyway, this one is a light, fall-ish pea coat, and when I was checking the size chart I realized I could fit in a Medium - at least according to the chart. Which I didn't believe. And stared at for a good 5 minutes.

That can't be right, I thought. A medium? Seriously? But I know my chest measurement and sure enough it would fit, so I ordered it, figuring I could always return it if it was too tight.

It came today. And, astonishingly, it fit. It's still a little tight around the shoulder blades when I bring my arms across, but since I have 18 more pounds to lose, I figure it will be perfect when I'm at my personal goal. But everything buttons without threat of them shooting across the room and, IMOHO, it looks pretty swell.

Funny, I always thought LL Bean clothes ran small, but maybe the problem was I ran big.

I had to take a picture of the tag because, holy crap, it's a Medium.

In which I think something I've never thought before

I bought a new pair of pajama pants at Target a few days ago.

Finally got around to wearing them last night. Took them out of the bag, ripped off the tags and put them on.

Too big.

I checked the unfortunately-already-ripped-off tags: L.

Should have bought an M, I thought.

Wait. WTF?

I actually sat on my bed and pondered that thought: Should have bought an M.

I don't believe those are words I've ever put together in my head.

In which you can lose weight quickly after 40

When I rejoined Weight Watchers last fall, I had one big concern:

Will I be able to lose weight as quickly as I had before?

From April 2002 to September 2003, I lost 124 lbs on Weight Watchers. I started at age 31.5 and reached Lifetime on my 33rd birthday. I was married and had a full-time job, no children yet, aka, I had money and time. And I was 100% focused on following the program and exercise.

If it took me 1.5 years eight years ago, how long would it take me now, at age 40?

After having 3 children in 4.5 years, would my body even remember how to lose weight?

Could I jump start my metabolism?

Is it going to take forever?

And these questions were all outside of all the kid-, time-, energy-related concerns.

My friend Becca, a fellow Lifetimer returning to Goal weight, posted her progress vs. her progress of several years ago. It got me thinking of doing the same thing, especially since I had all my old weigh-in booklets and info.

I finally got around to it and the results are very interesting.

I'm losing weight faster at 40 than I did at 31/32.

See for yourself, the blue line is my 2002-2003 losses (the chart says 2004, but that is a typo), the red is my current progress (2010-today), both through 44 weeks.



So, what's different now?

1. Points Plus. If you notice, the two lines really start to widen around Week 10. The Points+ program rolled out on Week 13 and I switched over after Week 15. Up until then I was eating very carb-heavy. I just wanted to stay within my Points, I didn't care about the mix of carb vs. protein, etc. When I felt comfortable with the idea of moving to Points+ three weeks later, it got me to eat more protein, fruits and veg as snacks and fewer carbs in general.

I know 2002-2003 I ate a very carb-heavy diet, at least moreso than now. So I believe the lean protein/F&V focus on Points+ really has made my metabolism more efficient and promotes more fat burning and muscle building through better-balanced eating.

2. Bootcamp. In 2002-2003 I did little strength training. I hated traditional free-weight workouts (still do) and could not motivate myself to get it done (still can't). So from April 2002 on my main exercises were walking, running (starting February 2003) and water aerobics (spring 2003). All great workouts, but all cardio - not big muscle-builders like interval training at bootcamp.

Because bootcamp is different every class, my body doesn't fall into that rut of doing the same-old, same-old. Just like eating the same things over and over (easy for me to do), I think the same exercise over and over is a case of diminishing returns. You have to shake it up. I'm shaking it up with bootcamp (I started in April) and it's paying off.

Other interesting observations:

My losing pattern is still the same. My small-loss, small-loss, big-loss pattern is very similar to that of 2002-2003. Once a month I would drop 3 or 4 lbs in one week, still do that today.

I had a long plateau in the 180s. Funny, I don't remember this at all. But according to the stats, I was stuck in the 180s for 13(!) weeks. I didn't have any major fall-off-the-wagon phases in 2002-2003, so I can't remember why the hell that was such a torturous period.

And here I was recently griping about spending 1 month in the 180s. Yikes.

You always hear that it's harder to lose weight the older you get. But this goes to show you with consistent dedication, balanced eating and exercise you can do it at any age!

In which the scale goes clank

I had an appointment with my doctor yesterday, but before I saw him the nurse had me step on the scale.

I stepped on and immediately heard - and felt - CLANK!

"Oh!" said the nurse.

She had automatically put the lower slider-thingy on 200, so the moment I stepped on, the beam shot up and banged into the top.

She moved the slider-thing to 150 and then proceeded weighing.

This is a long way of noting it's been forever since I started on the 150.

Week 43 Weigh-In: Triple Digit Time

Last night I posted that I hoped all my extra effort this past week paid off:

"I really, really hope it shows on the scale tomorrow."

It really, really did.

-4.2(!) to not only pass -100, but also get out of the 180s, which vexed me so these past 3 weeks.

Now, I can't say for certain that everything I did was the reason I lost so much, but it sure didn't hurt. My body does tend to have a small loss, small loss, big loss pattern, so maybe I was just following that. But, really, who cares?

Next stop, 177, which will put me back in my Lifetime No Pay range, which means I can stop paying WW $40 a month to weigh me every Tuesday morning. I'll still attend my meeting every week, believe you me, but I won't have to pay for the privilege.