Friday, May 18, 2012

In which my head is still behind

Two mental-type things happened recently, which just shows how long it takes your head to catch up to your body.

  • I woke up last week from an incredibly odd dream. It was a super quick snippet: A woman, I figure a sales clerk or something, looked at me and said brightly, "You're an XXL, right?"

  • To which I roared back with fury and rage - seriously, it was that emotional:

    "I AM A MEDIUM!"

    I woke up with a start from that very weird, very specific, extremely short nightmare.

    How bizarre. I wonder, what the hell triggered that strange snippet?

  • Last night I was out with a friend and we stopped at Panera for a drink. We went inside, but it was rather cold, so we decided to sit outside, where it was a touch warmer.

  • Still, it was dusk and getting colder, so my friend said, "I'll head to the car. I have two coats, I'll bring one for you."

    Immediately, all I could think was, "I won't fit in that coat." I mean, that thought - preprogramed from a lifetime of similar conclusions - appeared in a microsecond. It was freaky.

    Now, my friend is maybe a size smaller than me, so it wasn't like I was still 282.4 lbs. But my brain automatically seems to think I still am from time to time.

    My friend returned with the jacket and I put it on. It fit fine.

    Suck it, cranium.

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