If you've been reading this blog with hopes that one day I would post a photo of myself in my sports bra, well, today is your lucky day, my friend.
That picture is below. But, first, some background. And a nifty picture of me, post-bootcamp. Check out how great my hair looked after that hard circuit. Wow. Go me.
So, last December, Flo bought a Groupon for a pair of Zaggora Hot Pants. I was immediately intrigued because of the name: Hot Pants. How awesome.
I had sudden visions of women roller-discoing down Venice Beach wearing those those shiny, skin-tight '70s pants, tube tops and giant radio headphones with antennas.
Zaggora claims you can lose significant inches around your midsection just by wearing these pants while you workout. Flo said they functioned as a great "sports girdle." Pretty sure she did not test the earlier claim, I know I would have heard about that if she did and it actually worked.
What intrigued me most was the sports girdle concept because I really needed one. When there's repetitive hopping in bootcamp, such as jumping jacks (which there are every class), the significant only-surgery-will-get-rid-of-it flab around my midsection goes flap-a-flap-a-flap. It's embarrassing and uncomfortable. I discovered this sad phenomena last spring and quickly devised a solution.
I started wearing a one-size-too-small tank top under my T-shirt. This MacGyver girdle kept my stomach from slapping against itself during class. However, wearing two shirts to bootcamp is hot and relatively uncomfortable, which is why when the Hot Pants Groupon popped up again this January, I bought a pair.
I've been wearing them - and washing them - by hand, thank you very much - 3x a week since early January and here's what I've found: They are a terrific sports girdle.
When they arrived, I opened the mailer and was immediately overcome by the smell of rubber. As in, a tire. As in, these are rubber pants, people. Or, rubber-like. (The rubber smell goes away after you wash them.)
I tried them on. They were thick and seemed to be made of a wetsuit-type material. I pulled them on and they landed just below my breastbone. Perfect. See the porn-y, pervy bootcamp bathroom shot on the left.
(As an aside, I feel like I need to explain that I don't usually go around taking pictures of myself in bathrooms with my shirt up. Reason I did it is I wanted you to see how high these suckers go - and that's a good thing. Between my industrial-strength Enell bra and the Hot Pants I have, like, an inch of skin showing. Why the bootcamp bathroom? Because the mirror was at the right height and it had perfect lighting) I know I look like some total Twitter perv snapping a pic of his junk. I'm pretty sure no one's gonna get all sexed up over a picture of me in the least-sexiest (but most-effective) bra ever, holding up the least-sexiest breasts ever, atop the the least-sexiest pants ever. I mean, I hope not. Anyway...)
Not-too-tight and not-too-loose, these pants really do the trick for bootcamp. And, much like C+C Music Factory, these pants are gonna make you sweat. Loads.
I'm not an insane sweat-er, but after my first bootcamp class sweat was literally running down my legs and heading into my Vibrams. Eeewww. Not a great sensation. But I guess that's to be expected because if you're running, jumping and hopping around for a half-hour in half-a-wet suit, you will be, let's say, damp.
I'm used to working out in tights, but this is different because those are lightweight and wicking. The Hot Pants are not. When you peel them off (and you are peeling them off), the pants are wet and your bod is wet. Seriously, you will be so excited for a shower. And if you, say, get in a car and drive while wearing them after a class, make sure you're sitting on a beach towel.
Another thing I dislike is at the bottom of the left pant leg it screams: "HOT PANTS" in neon yellow, you can see it in the pervy pic above. The logo's too big, even though I love saying "Hot Pants."
So, in review: These pants will hold you in place comfortably if you need extra support below your breasts and above your groin. They were a good deal with the Groupon, $29 I think. Full-price I think they're north of $70. No way would I pay that I'd stick with the $10 tight tank from Target (say that three times fast).