Tuesday, March 13, 2012

In which I talk myself into a good decision

I swear, 99% of my weight-loss/maintenance life is talking myself out of a bad decision and into a better one.

With food, it's almost always the "I want this, but I'm not hungry and don't need it" variety. If I want something - and am hungry - I will have it. I won't deprive myself. However, head hunger is a far tricker foe.

I have these self-dialogues regarding activity, too. For example, this very morning, a designated run day. I got up at 5:30 am, it was pitch black and raining. I ate my breakfast and read the newspaper, listening to the rain hitting the skylights.

When it came time to think about changing, I heard that voice in my head and that set off a mental conversation that went something like this:

"You don't have to run this morning."

Yes, I do. I have a half-marathon in 7 weeks for which I am already behind in my training.

"But, it's raining out."

I have water-repellant clothes. My watch is waterproof and there's a pocket for my Nano, so there will be none of this business.

"Well, it's still dark out."

*checks iPad*

Sunrise is 7:04 am. I have reflective gear. I will not get killed or eaten by a coyote.

"You could run tonight after Keith gets home."

I could, but it would hang over me all day and I will be pissed off all day knowing I should have and could have run this morning instead of wimping out and having to go out later, when I am more tired than I am now. Plus, if I run this morning, I get to eat a bowl of cereal right now to carbo load.

"Wait, there's cereal? What are we waiting for? Let's go."

So I ate my cereal, got dressed, warmed up and headed out. Yes, it rained the whole 3 miles, but I was pretty dry and the temperatures were good (45), so I was not cold. In fact, wearing the light waterproof jacket left me pretty darn hot.

But here's the kicker, while running all of a sudden I remembered: I really like running in the rain. It's the getting-out-there that's the tough part.

Eleanor Roosevelt said something like: "The easiest person to fool is yourself." That is definitely true in my case, sadly before, during and currently after my weight loss.

I'm annoyed I still try to play tricks on myself, but I'm glad I'm getting stronger that fighting them.


  1. I'm glad to know I'm not the only person who has these self dialogues. Mine go further than weight loss-- they extend into chores and other obligations.

  2. You're better than me, SML, I won't even *try* to talk myself into those, LOL.