Twelve hours earlier I was enjoying the last night of our family vacation - and a piece of fried dough the size of a Frisbee. Yum.
But now, here I was, running through my humid, damp town early on a Sunday morning after mentally fighting myself over said run.
Back to reality, indeed.
Ending a vacation is rarely fun, but for me "back home" means back to my strict routine. And that's all good, it just takes some getting used to now that I'm working on being an After forever.
I knew my 10K training plan called for a long run today, Aug. 14, in fact my longest run ever - 5 miles. And Aug. 14 also happened to be our very first day back from vacation. Ack.
So when we pulled in late last night, I only dragged a few things out of the jam-packed van, namely my iPod Nano, headphones, running shoes, running bra (woo) and my Garmin, all of which made the trip since I had a run scheduled while away.
I knew I had clean running clothes ready, thankfully, so all I had to do was plug in and charge the Nano and sync and charge the Garmin, then I'd be ready to roll Sunday morning. No excuses, I know myself very well.
Gassed from the trip, I headed to bed, knowing I had an alarm set for, sob, 6:30 am.
The alarm was so unwelcome this morning. I hit snooze a few times, hoping maybe it would somehow miraculously shift time and space so it was Saturday or any other day I could sleep in.
No dice, so I got up, had a little breakfast, read the newspaper and then looked out the window. It was raining, just a little, but it was raining.
I quickly went online to check the hourly forecast, which didn't call for steady rain until 10 am. Eh, still too close, I thought. I could get caught in the rain.
Awesome, now I could do the 5 miles on the treadmill at the gym and it wouldn't be so damn awful and hard.
Spring in my step I grabbed water, my Nano and headphones, got in the still-jam-packed van and headed off to the gym. At the bottom of my street I had my first decision: left to go to the gym, right to go park at the bike trail and run through town.
I checked the windshield and saw no rain drops. Well, it will be raining again and I don't want to get caught out in the rain. I turned left.
Five minutes later I was driving through downtown, pretty much on the same route I would have run outside. Still not raining. No rain on the windshield and the puddles filling the pot holes were still. Not a drop. Dammit.
Stopped at a light I glanced skyward. Not only was it not raining, the skies were clearing up. Frack.
Stop being a baby and run outside. You'll regret it later if you don't.
But it could rain.
You'll regret it if you don't.
But I left my SPIbelt and Garmin at home.
Turn around and get them. Don't wimp out.
The more I argued with myself, the more I realized I had to turn around the damn car, drive home, grab the Garmin and belt, and go run outside.
The old me took the easy way all the time. An opportunity to make things easier? Sign me up.
While my life and habits are decidedly different now, old habits die hard. Yes, I was going to run my 5 miles today, but given a teeny, tiny opportunity of making it a touch easier, I grabbed it. Or tried to. But then my conscience got in the way.
I tried to avoid an outside run because it was my longest yet and that is scary. It was the same, stupid undercurrent that pops up when I try something new: What if I fail?
But deep down I knew I had trained correctly and followed my plan so, yes, while it wasn't super pleasant it was the right thing to do if I wanted to run a 10K in October and be a better, stronger runner.
Which is why I found myself chugging through town in the Florida-like climes of Massachusetts in August. And how did the actual run go?
Pretty darn well. My legs felt pretty heavy for the last half-mile, but otherwise, good stuff.
And, just as I predicted, I am very happy I made the right choice.
Oh, and it's barely rained all day. If I had run at the gym I would be some pissed with myself.